How Everyone Reaches Each Other, and Where to Go If They Can't
By Larry Betz | Prepared Not Paranoid https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/
When something big happens, your family probably won't be together. One of you is at work, the kids are at school, and your mom is home alone across town. The phones are jammed, and everyone is trying to call everyone at once. That's when families panic, and it's exactly what a family emergency communication plan prevents. You can build one in an afternoon, and it doesn't cost a thing.
In the Introduction, we looked at why phones fail and how the military plans around it with a PACE plan. Now let's build yours, one step at a time.
Step 1: Gather Everyone's Information
Write down, in one place: [LINK]
Every family member's cell phone, work phone, and email
Work and school addresses and their main phone numbers
Doctors, pharmacies, and anyone who helps care for a family member
Your out-of-area contact (Step 2)
Set up ICE and your Medical ID. Save at least one emergency contact in every phone under the name "ICE" (In Case of Emergency). Then set up your Medical ID (iPhone, in the Health app) or emergency information (Android, in Settings). First responders can see it from your lock screen without unlocking your phone.
Step 2: Choose an Out-of-Area Contact
Pick a relative or friend who lives in another city or state. Everyone in the family checks in with that one person.
Here's why it works: when a disaster hits your area, the local network gets overloaded with everyone calling across town. FEMA puts it simply: "In a disaster, it may be easier to make a long-distance phone call than to call across town." Your out-of-area contact becomes the family's message center. Even if you can't reach each other, you can each reach them.
Make sure your out-of-area contact knows they're the contact, has everyone's numbers, and knows how to text.
Step 3: Pick Your Meeting Places
If you can't reach each other at all, everyone needs to know where to go. FEMA recommends four places.
Pick one of each.
Walk or drive to each one with the kids, so they know the way and what it looks like.
Step 4: Build Your PACE Plan
This is the heart of your plan. As we covered in the Introduction, each layer needs to fail for a different reason, and everyone agrees ahead of time when to switch.
Here's a simple family version.
The switch times matter most. "If you can't reach me in 30 minutes, text Aunt Linda. If you can't reach anyone in 2 hours, go to the library." Without a time, people wait, and wait, and wait. With one, everyone moves at the same moment, even when they can't talk.
Step 5: Agree on Your "I'm OK" Text
When the network is struggling, text first, and keep it short. Agree on a simple format so the message carries everything in one try:
"OK- At the library- Kids with me- Heading to Grandma's at 5- Battery 40%."
That's who, where, who's with you, what's next, and how long your phone will last. Send it to the family group text and to your out-of-area contact.
Step 6: Set Check-In Times and Code Words
Check-ins: in an emergency, agree on when you'll check in (for example, at the top of every hour, or at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.). That saves battery and keeps everyone from calling at once.
A family safe word: a word only your family knows. If someone your kids don't know says, "Your mom sent me to pick you up," the kids ask for the safe word. No word, no ride.
A duress word: a normal-sounding word or phrase that means "I'm not okay, but I can't say so." For example, asking about a pet you don't have. Keep it simple, and never write it in a shared document.
Checking on an aging parent? If someone in your family lives alone, decide now what happens when they miss a check-in: who calls first, who goes over, and when to ask for a welfare check. My free Missed Check-In Protocol walks you through every step. [LINK]
Step 7: Plan for School, Work, and the People Who Need Extra Help
School and daycare: learn their emergency and reunification plans. Many schools release children only to adults on an approved pickup list, at a set location, with ID. Keep your list current.
Work: know your workplace's emergency plan and how you'll get home or where you'll go if you can't.
Aging parents and family members with disabilities: make sure they have a charged phone they know how to use, a large-print wallet card, and a person assigned to check on them. Someone who's hard of hearing may do better with texts than calls.
Sign up for alerts from your county or city, your kids' schools, and your workplace.
Want the complete plan? A communication plan is one piece of being ready. The Family Safety Toolkit gives you 20 checklists covering every area of family safety and preparedness, from your go bag and your vehicle to first aid and home safety. Print them, check them off, and keep them with your plan. [Get it here: https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/family-safety-toolkit]
Step 8: Put It on Paper
Phones die, get lost, and break. And most of us don't know our own family's phone numbers by heart anymore.
Make a wallet card for each person with key numbers, the out-of-area contact, and all four meeting places
Post a copy at home, near the fridge or with your emergency supplies
Have kids memorize at least one number, besides 911
Keep a copy in each go bag and vehicle
Step 9: Practice It
A plan nobody has practiced is just a piece of paper. FEMA recommends reviewing and practicing your plan at least once a year. Send a test "I'm OK" text, call your out-of-area contact, and walk to your neighborhood meeting place. Part 9 of this series covers family drills in detail.
Coming Up Next
In Part 2, we'll look at the phone already in your pocket: satellite texting, texting 911, and how to share your location when it matters most.
Ask Yourself
If the phones were jammed right now, where would each person in my family go?
Who is our out-of-area contact, and do they know it?
Does every family member have a wallet card, or are all our numbers only in our phones?
Remember
A family communication plan is simple: one out-of-area contact, four meeting places, a PACE plan with switch times, a short "I'm OK" text, and a card in every wallet. Write it down, share it, and practice it once a year. When the phones go quiet, everyone will already know what to do.
Get Started Today
FREE GUIDE: Lights Out, The Prepared Not Paranoid Blackout Plan. What to do in the first 30 minutes, the first 24 hours, and beyond when the power goes out, including a page for your family's emergency contacts. Print it and keep it with your plan. [CTA: Comment or DM "KEYWORD" / or download it here: LINK]
Go Deeper
The Family Safety Toolkit. This post helps you build your family communication plan. The Toolkit gives you 20 checklists covering every area of family safety and preparedness, all for $19.99. [Get it here: https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/family-safety-toolkit]
The Family Emergency Preparedness Manual is coming soon.
Tools I recommend: The walkie-talkies, weather radios, satellite messengers, and power banks I recommend are in my Backup Communications Amazon store. https://link.amazon/B09z0lfEb
Related reading:
Emergency Communications, Introduction: Why Your Family Needs Communication Layers https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/pnp-library/emergency-communications
Emergency Communications, Part 2: Your Smartphone in an Emergency https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/pnp-library/emergency-communications-lesson1
Go Bag, Part 2: Preparing to Leave Your Home https://www.preparednotparanoid.com/pnp-library/go-bag-lesson-2
References
FEMA / Ready.gov. Family Emergency Communication Plan.
Apple Support. Set up your Medical ID in the Health app on your iPhone.
Ryan, Michael S. "PACE Plans," Infantry (2013), and CISA, "Leveraging the PACE Plan into the Emergency Communications Ecosystem."
Disclaimer
These suggestions are intended to help you and your family build awareness, confidence, and safer decision-making habits. No safety plan, checklist, or training can guarantee 100% protection. This article is for general informational purposes only. Follow the instructions of local officials during an emergency. Affiliate disclosure: I've linked to products from my Amazon store that I personally recommend. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases, at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work.
In an emergency, call 911. If a call won't go through, try texting 911 where it's available, and include your location in the first message.
Awareness gives you time. Time gives you options.
The prepared protector is someone who's decided that loving someone means being ready for them, not just hoping things go fine.
Prepared Not Paranoid. Protecting the Most Vulnerable Among Us.
