Grooming, the Dark Web, SAWTing - Rapidly Growing Crisis
What is grooming?
Grooming is the deliberate process predators use to build trust with a child or teen in order to exploit them. It often begins subtly and can take place over days, weeks, or even months before the abuse becomes clear.
Global Scale: Not Just a Statistic
Over 300 million children worldwide- approximately 1 in 8- have experienced online sexual exploitation or abuse in the past year.
In the United States, more than 22% of children (roughly 1 in 5) reported exposure to unsolicited sexual content or non-consensual sharing of sexual images.
Teens and Pre-teens Are Being Groomed Online
“It’s Not Just Porn- This Is Grooming, Sextortion, and Trauma”
These are not instances of children simply consuming harmful content- predators are actively grooming, extorting, and sexually exploiting children online.
Sextortion involves predators coercing children into sending intimate images and then blackmailing them- sometimes leading to suicide (at least 20 documented cases tied directly to sextortion threats).
How It Happens
Here’s how it typically unfolds:
Targeting a Child
Predators often look for children who appear lonely, isolated, or eager for attention.
They may connect through social media, gaming platforms, or chat apps where children are most active.
Gaining Trust
The predator pretends to be a friend, often posing as another teen.
They may compliment the child, share interests, or provide emotional support to create a sense of connection.
Filling a Need
Groomers identify what a child feels they’re missing-attention, understanding, validation. Then the groomer provides it.
This creates dependency, making the child more likely to comply with requests.
Isolating the Child
The predator encourages secrecy, telling the child “this is just between us.”
They may suggest parents or friends “wouldn’t understand,” driving a wedge between the child and their support system.
Introducing Sexual Content
Once trust is built, the predator begins to normalize sexual talk, sharing explicit images or asking the child for them.
This gradual escalation reduces the child’s ability to recognize the situation as dangerous.
Control and Exploitation
Groomers often use threats, shame, or promises of affection to pressure children.
In sextortion cases, once images are shared, predators may blackmail the child by threatening to release them online unless more images are provided.
NOTE: Keep an Eye on EMOJIES and Acronyms on Text and other Platforms.
Grooming is not a single event; it’s a manipulative process designed to break down a child’s defenses until they feel trapped, ashamed, or powerless to stop it.
Online enticement, which includes grooming and sextortion, has surged. Reports to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) increased by over 300% between 2021 and 2023.
In 2023 alone, NCMEC received 36.2 million reports of child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and identified 186,000 sextortion cases, nearly a 300% increase from 2021.
How Parents Can Spot the Red Flags of Grooming
Predators count on secrecy, shame, and confusion to keep their victims silent. But there are often warning signs that a child is being groomed. Parents who know what to look for are better equipped to intervene early.
Behavioral Red Flags in Children
Secrecy around devices- suddenly hiding screens, closing apps quickly, or using devices late at night.
New online “friends”- especially those the child refuses to talk about or insists parents “wouldn’t understand”.
Unexplained gifts or money- predators sometimes send game credits, gift cards, or small items in order to build trust.
Change in mood or personality- withdrawal, sudden irritability, or anxiety that seems out of character.
Sexualized language or knowledge- using terms, jokes, or references beyond their age level.
Fear of being “in trouble”- the child may seem overly worried about disappointing someone or getting caught.
Digital Red Flags
Multiple new accounts, usernames, or hidden apps on the child’s phone.
Sudden increase in screen time, especially late at night.
Use of encrypted or lesser-known messaging apps (e.g., Kik, Telegram, Whisper).
Contacts with strangers whose identities can’t be verified.
Behavioral Tactics of Predators
Excessive flattery or attention- showering the child with compliments to build dependency.
Pushing for privacy - urging conversations to move from public forums to private chats.
Testing boundaries- starting with mild jokes or “accidental” slips to gauge reactions.
Secrecy and manipulation- encouraging the child to hide conversations from parents or friends.
Escalation to sexual talk- gradually introducing explicit topics, images, or requests.
Spotting one of these red flags doesn’t automatically mean grooming is happening, but a combination of signs should never be ignored. Open communication, calm questioning, and monitoring of online activity are key to protecting children before the situation escalates.
Start the monitoring process early with our article “Keeping Children safe: from Toddler to Teen”
The Silent Toll: Mental Health and Suicide Risk
While direct data linking grooming to suicide is still emerging, intense pressure from online sexual exploitation, especially sextortion, has driven some young victims to suicide at rates above the national average.
References
University of New South Wales- “More than 300 million child victims of online sexual abuse globally” (2024)
University of Edinburgh- “Scale of online harm to children revealed in global study” (2024)
Praesidium- “Unseen Threats: Online Child Sexual Abuse” (2024)
Enough Abuse Campaign- “Online Child Sexual Abuse: Facts and Data” (2024)
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)- “The Issues: Online Enticement”
CDC- “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance: Adolescent Mental Health and Suicide Risk” (2023)
The Dark Web: When Grooming Goes Far Worse
1. The Dark Web as a Breeding Ground for CSAM & Abuse (Child Sexual Abuse Material)
The dark web enables anonymity and extreme content. Researchers found that among over 176,000 Tor onion domains*, one-fifth were involved in child sexual abuse material (CSAM). Moreover, 11% of user searches on Tor focused on CSAM, and a staggering 40.5% of those searches involved children aged 11 or younger.
* NOTE: What Are “Tor Onion Domains”?
Tor = “The Onion Router.” It’s a special network and browser designed to keep users anonymous by routing internet traffic through multiple layers (like an onion). Each layer peels back one step of encryption, making it very hard to trace the original user.
Onion Domains = Websites that exist only inside the Tor network.
Instead of ending in .com or .org, they end in .onion.
You can’t access these with Chrome, Safari, or other standard browsers; access is only through the Tor browser (or similar tools).
Example: a hidden marketplace site might look like http://abc123xyz456.onion/.
Why They Exist
Some are legitimate (whistleblower platforms, privacy tools, journalists working in repressive countries).
But many are used for illegal activities because .onion sites are hidden from normal search engines and users can mask their identity.
How Predators Use Onion Domains
Child Exploitation: Sharing Child Sexual abuse Material in hidden forums.
Hurtcore Communities: The most disturbing spaces, where predators encourage or share violent abuse content.
Anonymity: By using onion domains, predators can hide servers, use cryptocurrency, and make law enforcement tracking much harder.
When you see “Tor onion domains”, think of it as the hidden websites of the dark web, only accessible through Tor, often used by predators and criminals to avoid being found.
2. Cybercriminal Networks Coerce Self-Harm and Extreme Abuse
Groups like “764”, part of the broader “The Com” network, operate on platforms such as Discord, Telegram, Roblox, and Minecraft. These predators not only extort children for sexual images but force them into self-harm, carving "cutsigns" and other unmentionable actions.
The FBI has initiated major investigations into these networks, noting over a 200% increase in related NCMEC (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children) reports in 2024.
One former FBI agent, overwhelmed by investigating these groups, described their impact as terrorizing.
3. Extremist Networks & Cult-like Manipulation
CVLT, a neo-Nazi-aligned Discord group, coerced minors into self-harm and sexual exploitation under ideological pretenses. Its founder attracted underage victims from around the world and used blackmail and psychological manipulation to control them.
These interconnected groups prioritize trauma and control, not fiction. One ex-victim disclosed: “Their main aim is to traumatize you.”
4. Hurtcore: The Dark Web’s Most Sadistic Fetish
Among the darkest corners is "hurtcore", where abuse becomes sexualized through violence and torture. Victims endure degrading pain, and forums dedicated to this content foster a literal fetish of inflicting pain on unwilling minors.
These harrowing materials are widely shared in anonymity-protected spaces, making detection and law enforcement responses extremely difficult.
Why This Must Be a Wake-Up Call
This is no longer just about online bullying. It’s organized psychological warfare against children. These networks operate under encrypted anonymity to:
Emotionally and physically derail youth
Encourage self-harm as a form of control
Exploit and coerce underground where traditional detection fails
Parents must understand that the grooming process in these contexts is escalated. It's not just an abuser online; it's a twisted orchestrated network demanding trauma and silence.
References
Study on Tor domains and CSAM prevalence arXiv
WIRED / consortium report on “764” and child exploitation WIRED
FBI investigation into 764 network, NCMEC report surge The Guardian
Former FBI agent’s revelations on psychological terror during investigations The Times
Information on CVLT and its grooming operations Wikipedia
Description and context of hurtcore content on the dark web Wikipedia
What the Dark Web Is and How Predators Use It
Most of us are familiar with the surface web, the everyday internet we access through Google, Bing, or Yahoo. Beneath that lies two lesser-known layers:
Deep Web- Legitimate but hidden sites (bank accounts, academic databases, medical records) that search engines don’t index.
Dark Web - A small, intentionally hidden portion of the internet that requires special software like Tor (The Onion Router) or I2P to access.
How the Dark Web Works
Encryption and Anonymity- The dark web uses layers of encryption that bounce a user’s connection across multiple servers worldwide. This makes it extremely difficult to trace where a user is located.
Hidden Services (.onion sites)- Instead of regular web addresses, dark web sites end in “.onion” and can’t be accessed with normal browsers.
Anonymous Transactions- Cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin or Monero are often used for payment, adding another layer of secrecy.
How Predators Exploit It
Anonymity to Evade Law Enforcement- Predators hide their identities, making it difficult to track them down even after committing crimes.
Hosting CSAM (Child Sexual Abuse Material)- Entire forums and marketplaces exist solely to distribute illegal material, often using invite-only access.
Grooming and Communities of Abusers- Predators use chat rooms, forums, and encrypted groups to share tactics, coordinate exploitation, and normalize abuse.
Live Exploitation and “Hurtcore”- Some of the darkest corners of the dark web stream abuse live or encourage children to harm themselves on camera.
Recruitment Platforms-Predators also lure vulnerable kids on the surface web (social media, gaming platforms), then push them toward hidden channels on the dark web where law enforcement has less visibility.
NOTE: Predators will Share Victim Information- Once a child is identified as vulnerable, predators may share details, images, or access information with other abusers, multiplying the risk and exposure for that child.
In short: The dark web allows predators to hide behind technology, shield their real identities, and form criminal communities that would be impossible in the open. This is why it has become such a powerful tool for online grooming, sextortion, and exploitation.
What Swatting Is and Why It’s So Dangerous
Swatting is the act of making a false emergency call to law enforcement, usually reporting a violent crime such as a hostage situation, active shooter, or bomb threat, at someone else’s address. The intent is to provoke an aggressive police response, often involving a SWAT team (Special Weapons and Tactics).
The caller disguises their location and identity, sometimes using technology to spoof numbers, making the call appear as if it’s coming from the victim’s home. Law enforcement responds under the assumption that lives are at immediate risk.
Why It’s Dangerous
Armed Police Response- Innocent people suddenly find heavily armed officers breaking into their home, often at night.
Risk of Death or Injury- Startled residents or misinterpretations by officers can turn deadly in seconds.
Psychological Trauma- Families, including children, are left terrified after the raid.
Resource Drain- Valuable emergency services are diverted away from real crises.
Why Predators Use Swatting
Swatting is often used as:
Revenge or retaliation- against rivals, gamers, or people speaking out online.
Harassment and intimidation- silencing victims of grooming, bullying, or extortion.
Entertainment- disturbingly, some perpetrators do it for the thrill of watching chaos unfold.
Real-Life Examples
2017 Wichita, Kansas -A swatting call over a $1.50 bet in an online video game led police to raid an innocent man’s home. In the confusion, 26-year-old Andrew Finch was shot and killed by police.
2022 U.S. Schools- A wave of coordinated swatting hoaxes targeted dozens of schools across multiple states, triggering mass lockdowns, evacuations, and terror among students and parents.
High-Profile Targets- Celebrities, politicians, and even FBI agents have been victims of swatting. No one is immune.
Swatting is not a prank; it’s a life-threatening crime. Predators and online bullies use it as another weapon in their arsenal to instill fear, control, and silence.
Parents don’t have to choose between privacy and protection.
Yes, a child’s privacy matters, but safety always comes first. Healthy digital oversight isn’t about mistrust; it’s about staying connected, building accountability, and being present enough to notice when something feels off. You don’t need to hover, but you do need to look. Regular check-ins, shared device use, and clear family tech rules create boundaries that balance a child’s growing independence with a parent’s responsibility to protect them, ensuring online privacy never turns into isolation or secrecy.
Family Tech Rules for Online Safety
I’ve put together a list of Family Tech Rules to help parents create a safer digital environment at home. Protecting children online starts with clear expectations, open communication, and consistent follow-through. These simple but powerful rules are designed to reduce digital risks while teaching lifelong habits of responsibility and awareness.
This list is based on recommendations from leading experts, including the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), the FBI’s Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) Task Force, Common Sense Media, Thorn, and other respected child safety researchers.
Use this as a starting point to strengthen your family’s digital safety plan keeping your kids connected, informed, and protected.
Keep Devices in Shared Spaces
Phones, tablets, gaming systems, and laptops should be used in common areas, not behind closed doors. This naturally encourages supervision without making it feel like surveillance and helps protect against hidden risks.
No Devices in Bedrooms After Lights Out
Late-night messaging is one of the most common times when grooming and exploitation escalate. Set a family rule to charge all devices in a central location overnight to support healthy sleep and stronger boundaries.
Parents Know Passwords- No Exceptions
Make it clear that having access to devices and accounts is not about spying, but about safety. Just like you keep a spare house key, you need digital access in case of emergencies or serious concerns.
Be Transparent About Social Media Accounts
Parents should always know:
What platforms their child uses
What their usernames are
Who they interact with
Teach your child to never accept friend requests from strangers or follow someone online without talking to you first and remind them that people on the internet may not always be who they claim to be.
Regularly Check Friends & Followers
Go through your child’s friends list on:
Social media
Gaming platforms
Messaging apps
Make sure connections are people they actually know in real life from school, sports, or family. Remove anyone unfamiliar. This is one of the easiest ways to block strangers from private access.
Talk About What “Secrecy” Looks Like
Explain that any adult or older teen who asks them to keep a secret from their parents is showing a major red flag.
Teach your child that they can (and should) tell you right away and that it’s never tattling when safety is at stake.
Be Cautious with Anonymous Platforms
Parents and kids should stay alert to apps that allow anonymous messaging or unfiltered video chats. These are high-risk spaces where predators and cyberbullies often operate.
Anonymous Messaging Apps
Yubo (formerly Yellow): Marketed as a “Tinder for teens,” Yubo allows users to swipe to connect with strangers. It has been linked to grooming cases and encourages sharing personal content to gain followers. The platform encourages meeting strangers, includes livestreaming, and offers very limited content moderation.
Sendit / NGL / Sarahah: These are “add-on” apps for Snapchat or Instagram that let users receive anonymous messages or questions. They are frequently used for bullying, inappropriate dares, and anonymous harassment. Kids may be lured into risky behavior while seeking validation from strangers.
Unfiltered Video Chat Apps
Chatroulette / Monkey: These apps connect users with random people via live video, often with little to no moderation. Users can be exposed to nudity, adult content, or strangers pretending to be teens.
Omegle (now shut down in 2023, but replaced by similar clones): This former site matched users for random video or text chats with strangers. Many users encountered inappropriate content within seconds. Because there were no filters or age verification, it became a popular space for predators seeking contact with minors.
Use the “Pause Before You Post” Rule
Before sharing any photo, video, or personal info, teach your child to ask:
“Would I be okay if this was shown to everyone I know?”
This helps build digital awareness and reputation management skills from a young age.
Choose Open Dialogue Over Open Surveillance
Monitoring works best when it’s paired with trust and conversation. Check in regularly about what they’re seeing online. Keep the door open so they’ll come to you with uncomfortable experiences, mistakes, or questions.
Model the Same Behavior
Children learn far more from what we do than what we say and that absolutely includes how we use technology.
Ask yourself:
Do you protect your own privacy online?
Do you limit screen time and take intentional breaks?
Do you pause and think before posting or sharing?
When parents consistently model healthy digital habits, family tech rules feel fair, not forced and they naturally become part of everyday life rather than another list of restrictions.
It’s also wise for parents to avoid using phones or screens during shared moments like meals. Choosing to read a physical book, magazine, or newspaper instead, especially during family time like Sunday breakfast, sets a powerful example of focus and presence.
In fact, research shows that physically turning pages activates more areas of the brain than reading on screens, leading to stronger comprehension, longer attention spans, and better memory retention particularly in children. Tactile interaction with books also stimulates sensory pathways that support deeper learning and brain development.
By living the same digital balance you expect from your kids, you’re not just enforcing rules, you're building lifelong habits of focus, respect, and self-discipline that will stay with them far beyond childhood.
Technology connects us, but it also comes with real risks.
Clear expectations, open communication, and steady parental involvement make the difference between blind trust and informed protection.
START EARLY, STAY INVOLVED, AND LEAD BY EXAMPLE.
Tech Solutions for Parents
Bark is a parental control and online safety platform built specifically to protect kids in today’s digital world. Unlike traditional screen time apps, Bark uses advanced AI monitoring to scan texts, emails, web searches, photos, and many social media apps for signs of cyberbullying, online predators, sexual content, drugs, alcohol, self-harm, and more. Parents don’t have to read every message- instead, Bark sends real-time alerts with context when something concerning is detected. Bark offers multiple solutions to fit families at different stages: the Bark Watch (a starter device for younger kids), the Bark Phone (a full smartphone with built-in monitoring), and Bark Home (a plug-in device that protects every internet-connected device in your house, from gaming consoles to laptops). Together, these tools provide layered protection to help parents balance safety with independence as their kids grow.
Bark Watch- First Device for Younger Kids
The Bark Watch is an excellent alternative to having a smart phone. It is tailored for kids (roughly ages 7–11) who don’t yet need a smartphone, offering safety without the distraction of social media or games.
Key features:
Talk and text capabilities with parent-approved contacts only.
Built-in AI monitoring scans texts, photos, and videos for bullying, predators, self-harm, and inappropriate content.
Real-time GPS tracking, arrival/departure alerts, and an SOS button for emergencies.
Water-resistant (IP68) and has a 1.6-inch responsive touchscreen, simple UI, and no distractions.
Costs $7/month device installment plus $15/month for service & monitoring, totaling about $22/month ($264/year).
Pros:
No apps or games; focused on safety
Tamper-proof controls and fun customizable watch faces.
Parents receive alerts on detected risks; intuitive backend controls.
Considerations:
Hefty battery- may need nightly charging.
Bulky-sized design (about 42 × 50 × 15 mm).
Bark Phone Monitoring Capabilities for Parents
The Bark Phone is more than just a locked-down smartphone; it’s a device designed from the ground up for parental oversight and child protection. Here’s how it helps parents stay in control while giving kids some independence:
Social Media & App Management
Parents can approve or block apps before a child downloads them.
Ability to completely disable app stores if desired.
Parents decide when/if kids can access social media apps like Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat.
Flexible controls: parents can allow specific apps at certain times (e.g., school nights vs. weekends).
Real-Time Alerts
The Bark AI scans for risky content across texts, emails, web searches, photos, and supported apps. Parents receive alerts directly on their dashboard or by email/text if issues are detected, including:
Instead of reading every message or post, parents get flagged alerts with context so they can step in when needed without fully invading privacy.
Screen Time & Usage Controls
Set daily screen time limits (by app, category, or device-wide).
Create bedtime schedules where the phone locks down.
Block internet or apps during school hours to avoid distraction.
Location Tracking & Safety
Built-in GPS location sharing- parents can see where the child is at all times.
Check-in requests let parents prompt their child to confirm safety.
Geofencing alerts notify when a child enters/exits a set location (e.g., school, home).
Tamper-Proof Design
Kids can’t factory reset, delete monitoring, or bypass parental controls.
Unlimited talk & text + safe browsing, all within Bark’s ecosystem.
Bottom Line: The Bark Phone gives kids a normal smartphone experience while giving parents total visibility into potential risks- bullying, predators, sextortion, inappropriate content, or mental health red flags.
Bark Home & Real-Time Alerts
What Bark Home Does - Bark Home works at the network level (your Wi-Fi) to control access (when, where, and how devices connect).
It can:
Block apps/websites or categories (adult, gambling, social media, etc.)
Enforce SafeSearch and YouTube Restricted Mode
Pause the internet instantly
Apply screen time schedules
Bark Home gives parents control over what gets through on all devices in the house (TVs, Xbox, PlayStation, laptops, phones, etc.).
What Bark Home Does Not Do
Bark Home does not scan content inside messages, emails, or social media apps.
That means it does not provide AI alerts for cyberbullying, sexual content, or drug/alcohol mentions the way Bark Phone or Bark App monitoring does.
So if your child is being bullied in a text or DMed something inappropriate on Instagram, Bark Home alone won’t catch it.
Parent Alerts with Bark Monitoring
To get real-time alerts for concerning content you need:
Bark Phone (all-in-one device with Bark monitoring built in), or
Bark Premium App installed on the child’s iPhone/Android device.
Alerts come via:
Push notifications in the Bark Parent App
Text or email notifications (parents can choose)
Dashboard view for reviewing flagged content with context
Best Practice: Combine Bark Home + Bark Monitoring
Bark Home = Household guardrail (controls all devices, blocks/filters internet access, sets time limits).
Bark Phone or Bark Premium App = Deep content monitoring with real-time alerts.
Together, they provide layered protection: Bark Home keeps the home network clean, while Bark Phone/App gives parents visibility into what kids see and share inside apps, texts, and chats.
Aura is a digital safety platform designed to help families manage and protect their online lives. Unlike tools that focus only on kids’ devices, Aura combines parental controls with broader cybersecurity features like identity theft protection, safe browsing, antivirus, and breach alerts. For parents, Aura provides tools to filter content, set screen time limits, block risky apps or websites, and receive real-time alerts for online gaming risks such as cyberbullying, scams, or predatory behavior. While it doesn’t scan texts or social media apps the way Bark does, Aura’s strength lies in offering whole-family protection by combining online safety for children with digital security for adults.
The threats facing children and teens today represent a true crisis that families can no longer afford to ignore. Predators are more organized, more anonymous, and more relentless than ever before. They are using technology to hide, collaborate, and multiply their impact. Yet parents are not powerless.
By understanding how these dangers work, recognizing the red flags, and using the right tools - from open communication and monitoring apps like Bark to broader digital security platforms like Aura - families can take back control. Protecting children is not about fear, but about awareness, vigilance, and layered defense. Together, by staying informed and proactive, we can build a safer digital environment for our kids and ensure that predators have fewer places to hide.
